Love Your Condom Answers - How Big Is the Average D*ck?!

New Zealand based non-profit Love Your Condom makes some of the most entertaining videos we have ever seen on the subject of gay sex and sexuality. Check out their terrific, but NSFW video, How Big is the Average Dick! In it, they not only explore the average size, but they either confirm or bust myths regarding the differences in Black Vs White, Gay Vs. Straight, and tell you which region of the world produces the largest number of highly well endowed gents. Also, you will learn the correct way to measure length!

But in the end, the message they want you to take away is Measure the Pleasure! Who cares about the size?! The amount of pleasure your partner can bring you is wayyy more important.

**Video is NSFW**

Penile Knitting - Our Vaginal Knitting Parody!!

So, if you haven't seen it yet, there is a creepy video burning up the internet featuring an Australian performance artist knitting for 28 days in a row using yarn that she stores in her vagina. Yes. Really. Take a look:



We couldn't resist. We just had to make our own parody version. So here it is. Please enjoy Penile Knitting!

Try the Hilarious Penis Analyzer!!

So...drop what you are doing and go try this fun, slightly wicked penis analyzer.

  Penis Analyzer Site! 

Just type in your name and it will tell all about your penis. This is supposed to be silly satire, so don't take offense when it calls your penis "The Sublime Greedy Sea Lion." That's what it told me. Sadly accurate. Enjoy!

Here are results for two of our staff!

Can You Really Break Your Penis?

Most men have heard scary tales about accidentally bending one’s penis in the wrong way and having it break. There was even an episode of Grey’s Anatomy about this back in the day. But, is the broken penis real or just a myth, like Big Foot, or the female orgasm (just joking, don’t hate)? Unfortunately for us guys, it’s real. Yes, you really can break your penis.

The real name for the ailment is penile fracture. According to Dr. Hunter Wessells in a 2009 Scientific American article, “It is a severe form of bending injury to the erect penis that occurs when a membrane called the tunica albuginea tears. The tunica albuginea surrounds the corpora cavernosa, specialized spongy tissue in the core of the penis that fills up with blood during an erection. When the tunica albuginea tears, the blood that is normally confined to this space leaks out into other tissues. You get bruising and swelling.” There are pictures of this, but you probably don’t want to see. But, if you must, Click Here. WARNING: It’s gruesome.

If you experience a penile fracture, you can expect to hear a popping sound followed by severe pain and loss of erection. If this occurs, you should immediately seek medical attention. Most cases require surgery, though some may not.

The majority of cases are caused by thrusting into places that shouldn’t be thrust into. Like if you slip out and don’t realize it and just keep doing your thing. Chances are you might wind up bending yourself in a way that your penis just isn’t meant to bend. You can also tear the tunica albuginea trying crazy acrobatic sexual positions. Also, some men abuse themselves a bit too much while masturbating.

So, I guess the moral of the story is your boner only bends so far before it breaks. Unless you are looking for months of displeasure and possible surgery, be careful with your penis. It’s the only one you get.

Why Does My Boyfriend's Penis Stink?!!

Ok. Start rejoicing. We are going to have a frank conversation about this seemingly silly subject. Too many of us have suffered in silence over our man’s junk either being too funky smelling or, worse, smelling (or, gag me, tasting) like fish. On more than one occasion I have gone to service a lover only to be turned back by an unpleasant odor, and that is putting it mildly.

The primary and most obvious reason for genital odor is poor hygiene, especially among the uncircumcised. Easy fix. If you don’t feel like embarrassing your boyfriend, simply suggest you take a sexy shower together and wash his private parts for him in a playful seductive manner. But, ultimately, if this is an ongoing problem, you might want to gently let him know his cleanliness is not up to par and it’s turning you off. Uncircumcised men need to be sure to pull the foreskin all the way back and wash the head of the penis at least twice a day.

However, there can be more serious reasons for odor. If your man washes on a regular basis and the smell keeps returning quickly, it could be a number of medical conditions. Ongoing smells can be the result of an ongoing bacterial or yeast infection. Also, Urinary Tract Infections can cause the urine to smell and as a result make the penis itself smell. If there is a persistent odor, a visit to the doctor might be in order. Also, more drastically, a fishy smelling penis can be a serious sign of diabetes called Ketonuria. But only a doctor can let you know for sure.

So, if your boyfriend is fastidious in nature about his personal hygiene and continues to smell, drag him in to a visit to the physician. No sense in both of you suffering in silence. If he is just a dirty bastard, cut him off until he cleans up his act.