Saturday, July 18, 2015

Molly Jay's Illustrated Guide to Gay Star Trek Romances!

Anyone who is a fan of the Star Trek franchise knows that its shows are rife with sexual tension and homoerotic undertones. Much to our chagrin, the producers never once allowed a blossoming same sex romance to ever come to fruition. I guess that's why there is so much Star Trek slash floating around in the fan fiction universe. So, we enlisted Treklenburg Podcast co-host Molly Jay to break down her five favorite burgeoning LGBT Star Trek relationships. But, Molly did us one better. She hilariously illustrated all the scenarios the way they should have played out!

Without further ado, here is Molly Jay's illustrated guide to gay Star Trek romances!

#5) Malcolm Reed and Major Hayes
Some of you might be saying, “Malcolm Reed and who?” I get that. A more obvious pairing might have been Reed and Tripp. Unfortunately, Mr. Tucker was mired in the worst romance ever with Commander T’Pol. Seriously, those two were about as titillating as dry rot. True, Major Hayes was not a main character and was only featured during the whole Xindi story arc until his tragic demise. But when he first appeared as head MACO (Military Assault Command Operations) and started throwing his weight around, Lt. Reed took exception. On the surface, the two men seemed threatened and antagonized by each other but underneath that veneer of hostility, the two were teeming with animal-lust for each other. The whole “conflict” escalated into one of those let’s-taunt-each-other, look-I-pinned-you, now-you’ve-pinned-me, just-fuck-already fights. (ENT: Harbinger)You could cut the sexual tension with a space knife!

#4) Captain Janeway and Seven of Nine
There are many slash pairings in the Star Trek fanfic universe and a personal favorite is Janeway and Seven. When Jeri Ryan first appeared as Seven, her sexuality was deemed ambiguous by many fans who petitioned the character be revealed as a lesbian. Of course, that was not to be. But the chemistry between these two ladies is palpable! Sure, Captain Janeway started off as Seven’s mentor but throughout their journey through the Delta quadrant, her feelings deepened. Now, it is inappropriate for any starship captain to have a romantic relationship with a sub-ordinate, so these two had to keep their affair on the down-low. However, any casual observer could see a romance blossoming between the two. A favorite scene is when Captain Janeway becomes a nightclub owner in Nazi-occupied France (VOY: The Killing Game) and Seven is the buxom diva that headlines every night. The set-up already smacks of “Casa Blanca” with Seven singing an almost Irving Berlin ballad. Play it again, Sam!

#3) Captain Picard and Q
This one is a no-brainer. It is an established fact that Q is obsessed with Captain Picard. He gives one or two little throw away explanations but we all know Mr. Omnipotent is completely infatuated with Jean-Luc. He ends up in the man’s bed more than once (TNG: Qpid, TNG: Tapestry), he runs off with Vash to make the Captain jealous, and he appears on the Enterprise bridge completely naked (TNG: Deja Q). Some of you may blame the Continuum for the last one, but it’s just another facet in the giant mind-fuck that Q plays with Picard. And some of you dissenters might point to Picard’s lack-luster romance with Dr. Crusher and proclaim Beverley as his inamorata. But I heartily disagree! There is so much passion in Picard’s eyes when he is contending with his almighty rival! And, c’mon, who wouldn’t want to have sex with a god?

#2) Captain Kirk and Spock
This here be the mightiest Trek slash of all the slashes! Go ahead, google “Kirk/Spock”. There is a veritable cornucopia of fanfiction dedicated to these two iconic characters. There is even a dang Wikipedia article dedicated to the phenomenon! In fact, this branch of fiction became so popular that Gene Roddenberry was compelled to respond, “Yes, there's certainly some of that -- certainly with love overtones. Deep love. The only difference being, the Greek ideal-- we never suggested in the series-- physical love between the two. But it's the-- we certainly had the feeling that the affection was sufficient for that, if that were the particular style of the 23rd century.” Basically, if physical love between two men was “in style” by the time we got to the 23rd century, Roddenberry himself could totally see it happen!

Possibly the most popular scene between the Captain and his First Officer is from Star Trek: The Motion Picture, where Spock confesses how emotions contribute to the richness of his life. True, some humor is added to the illustration above (personally, I always thought Bones had a bit of a crush on Spock) but this is a sweet scene from the first movie. (Also, I depicted Bones and Chapel in their uniforms from the show and not the movie because the uniforms from TMP are hideous and I hate Chapel as a brunette.)

#1) Dr. Bashir and Garak
For purely selfish reasons, I’m topping this list with my favorite Trek pairing. Sorry Ezri, but you were basically an afterthought and only existed because of “Becker”. Ziyal, you were a mere child, too naive and young... and, also, you’re dead. We all know (and by “we”, I mean the true believers) that Julian Bashir and Elim Garak are meant to be! All the lunches, bonding over literature, the coy smiles and looks of longing... these two are so in love! True, Garak is usually the initiator, crashing the doctor’s holodeck program, inviting himself on missions, giving Julian Delavian chocolates... but Dr. Bashir is instantly intrigued by the Cardassian. In a more perfect world, the DS9 producers would have let this love blossom on-screen (thanks for nothing Rick Berman) but, fortunately, there is a bevy of well-written slash and it’s not hard to find testaments to my favorite celebrity couple!

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