Monday Morning Dance Party: The Superions "Fruitcake" (Fred Schneider from The B-52s)

Yikes...Christmas is less than two weeks away now! Here's a little X-mas jam from B-52s frontman Fred Schneider and his band The Superions off their 2010 Christmas album Destination...Christmas. "Fruitcake" is kind of inexplicable. Just watch it.

Completely Inappropriate Holiday Cookies!

The Holidays are almost here again and that can only mean one thing...it's time to make delicious treats that will totally shock and annoy our aging parents! Last year we enlisted the help of professional chef Sara Whittlesey who spent an afternoon showing us how to simply and easily turn ordinary gingerbread cookies into fun, naughty treats. This year, we hit Sara up again! Her adorable husband Brett Whittlesey from the band Paint Fumes got in on the act, too! Together we spent a happy afternoon creating completely inappropriate Holiday cookies.

If you want to make these at home, be sure to watch the step by step video on how to decorate cookies simply and easily at the bottom of the post!

Yes, we tried to give a penguin a harness.

Here's what we used:
1) Sugar Cookies! Either bake your own or purchase blanks at your local store. We rolled these out and used a variety of cookie cutter shapes.
2) Black cake frosting & a piping bag
3) Black cookie Icing
4) A variety of sugar beads for the studs, eyes, and ball gags. Red Hots work for ball gags, too!
5) Various colors of writing icing/decorating gel

You can get most of this at craft stores like A.C. Moore, Michaels, etc... Grocery stores may have some of this stuff, but we found the craft stores were a much safer bet.

Watch our gingerbread video to see how it all comes together!

Jack Merridew Spreads Holiday Cheer In Hilarious New Sexy Santa Video!

Wow. Adorable youtube celeb Jack Merridew has really outdone himself. We sent him a sexy Santa outfit and he just kinda ran with it. Rather than even trying to explain, just watch. Seriously. Watch this now.

And if you like this, be sure to follow Jack Merridew on hisYouTube Channel, Instagram, and Twitter!

A Gay Geek's Guide To Surviving the Holidays!

Well, the Holidays are upon us now. Dealing with family is never easy, especially if you are in a relationship and you have to deal with two sets of parents, siblings, cousins, etc... We enlisted the help of cartoonist Jake Rohdy to create an illustrated guide to surviving various typical holiday scenarios! May your Holiday season be peaceful and sane.

#1) Be patient and kind when explaining to parents and siblings that they need to make your boyfriend feel welcome and included at Holiday get-togethers!

#2) If you have changed boyfriends since last Christmas, be prepared for uncomfortable questions! 

#3) Don't get all up in your Mom's face if she asks that you and your boyfriend sleep in separate rooms while visiting! 

#4) If you find yourself alone this year, don't despair!
Seriously, it's just temporary. I am sure there are tons of Christmas orphan parties you can go to with various groups of friends. Actually, being by yourself means not having to field awkward questions from well meaning relatives. So, at least there's that!

Be sure to visit Jake Rohdy's website for a daily comic post!

10 "Interesting" Gay X-Mas Items We Found on ETSY - 2014 Edition!

So, every year we like to go to ETSY and type in the search term "Gay Christmas" and see what pops up. While last year's batch of Etsy wares bordered on the kitschy, this year's results made us feel like we needed to take a very long shower with lots and lots of soap. So, without further ado, and in no particular order, here are ten potential gay gift ideas thanks to good people selling their creations on Etsy!

#1) Sexy Thang Crochet Penis!
Nothing fills you with Holiday spirit quite like a seven inch knit penis wearing a Santa hat. Toss in two hand written notes saying Sexy and Thang, googly eyes, and a beard, and you've got yourself a deal! It's a steal at $15.00.

#2) Handmade Screen Print Butt Plug Tree Topper
Name me one person who wouldn't want one of these lovely ten and a half inch beauties capping off their tree this year?

#3) I Love Feltching T-Shirt!
No matter how you chose to spell felching, you can't ignore the sentiment. This listing title is officially:
I Love Feltching Tee T Shirt Secret Santa Christmas Gift Gay.

#4) Lot of Four Nude Watercolor Paintings
How these are still available a week before X-mas is a complete mystery to me.

#5) Put In My Ass Rainbow Brooch
This wonderful polymer clay pin ships all the way from the gay friendly shores of Indonesia!

#6) Saint Cher Prayer Candle
This eight inch tall unscented candle encourages you to pray to believe in life after love. No, really. It is in the description.

#7) Jingle F*cken Balls Holiday Card
This will look great on the mantle!

#8) Blue Flames Penis Apron
Their description says, "Grab your meat (so funny), your tongs and a real man’s apron – lets BBQ!!!"

#9) Vagitarian T-Shirt
The official listing title on this wonderful Holiday gift idea is:
Womens Vagitarian Lesbian T-shirt Funny Gay Pride Tshirt LGBT Pussy Cat Rainbow Girls shirt Christmas Gift For Girlfriend

#10)
Village People Song Art "YMCA" Paperweight
Not even going to ask what happened to the biker member of The Village People. He seems to have gone missing.

-Cardinal Image in header by Emily Bluestar. Used by Creative Commons License.

How To Make Leather Daddy Gingerbread Men!

With the holidays fast approaching, we are always looking for new ways to amuse our friends and horrify our family! So, we enlisted the help of professional chef Sara Whittlesey who spent an afternoon showing us how to simply and easily turn ordinary gingerbread cookies into fun, naughty treats. If you want to make these at home, be sure to watch the step by step video at the bottom of the post!

Here's what we used:
1) Gingerbread men. Either bake your own or purchase blanks at your local store. We used both.
2) Black cake frosting & a piping bag
3) Black cookie Icing
4) A variety of sugar beads for the studs, eyes, and ball gags
5) Black writing icing/decorating gel

You can get most of this at craft stores like A.C. Moore, Michaels, etc... Grocery stores may have some of this stuff, but we found the craft stores were a much safer bet.

Watch the video to see how it all comes together!

Thanks to Brian Ballard for the photos and video. Thanks to Carlton and Gary for letting us tarnish their lovely kitchen! If you do make leather daddy cookies of your own, please be sure to email us pics! adammaleblog at gmail dot com.

Our 5 Favorite Modern Pop Christmas Songs!

Decorating the Christmas tree, watching Charlie Brown on tv, and wrapping presents is great, but nothing infects us with the Christmas spirit quite like music. So, we took a poll around the office to see if we could come up with a list of great pop rock Christmas tunes from the last 50 years or so! Here's what we came up with. We would love to hear your favorites, too!

#5) The Kinks "Father Christmas"


#4) The Pogues w/ Kirsty MacColl "Fairytale Of New York"


#3) Sufjan Stevens "Put the Lights on the Tree"


#2) Best Coast and Wavves "Got Something For You"


#1) The Waitresses "Christmas Wrapping"

The Worst Gay Themed Christmas Gift I Ever Got!

Well...it's Christmas. You're out to your family. You're out to your friends. The whole world knows you're gay and you're walking on cloud nine. Then it happens. A well meaning friend or family member gives you the worst gift imaginable - a gay themed rainbow nightmare or otherwise terrible gift. Hey, you're gay, right? Clearly you must want to fill your house with all the gay chintz you can get your hands on! And they are more than happy to oblige!

To make things worse, there are articles like Amazon's "Great Gay Gift Ideas" floating around out there giving poor, sweet straight people the wrong idea.  Amazon suggests we might like a Big Gay Al Action Figure, a Gay Pride Rainbow Flag Pewter Pendant Necklace, and a Rainbow Rhinestone Party Collar for our pets. While Cafe Press suggests gay people would like a Somebody Has to be the Queen Magnet or perhaps a I'm Not Gay But My Boyfriend Is mousepad.

So, we asked some friends, what was the worst gay themed Christmas present you ever got? Thankfully many people said they were never unfortunate enough to receive such a gift. But, quite a few had a story to share. So, here we go...


Carlton T: Somebody once gave me a book called You Know You're Gay When.... I still have it. They had stuff like you know you're gay when you have the most amazing dreams about being Bound and gagged in an Italian factory. It was full of gay clichés. The last time you saw fuzzy balls u were on a tennis court. Oh yeah and someone also gave me a book of gay quotes, lol...

Adam B: One year my sister got me a Christmas card with a tanned skin muscle man on the front painting a rainbow in the background and I believe it read "Have a Gay Christmas".... The only reason this comes to mind is that I think the stereotype of gay men is that they all love the look of a very muscular tanned man with the perfect body and perfect hair! Anyways, I think it's awkward because it's very stereotypical of the gay community.


David G (From Bear World Magazine): I was given an ironing board cover with a naked man on it! Tacky as hell - used it every day!



Henry C: My Dad once gave me a copy of The Village People's Greatest Hits.

Brian B: I was given a magnet once. It said "Sorry Girls. I'm Gay."  She was a holy roller, so her idea of gay is as a novelty. I didn't appreciate it. I gave a laugh that could be described as fake at best.

Lee G: My Mother, who felt the need to join PFLAG when I told her I was gay, once gave me a rainbow kitchen apron. I never wore it. I barely even cook.


Noel G: My mom bought me a satin jacket with a flamingo on it at a thrift store and then bedazzled it. I was so embarrassed.

Scot F: One year I  got a rainbow tea light set. It was gaudy and gross.

We would love to hear your stories!!



-Top image by SimplyPanda used by Creative Commons License.