Friday, December 20, 2013

The Worst Gay Themed Christmas Gift I Ever Got!'s Christmas. You're out to your family. You're out to your friends. The whole world knows you're gay and you're walking on cloud nine. Then it happens. A well meaning friend or family member gives you the worst gift imaginable - a gay themed rainbow nightmare or otherwise terrible gift. Hey, you're gay, right? Clearly you must want to fill your house with all the gay chintz you can get your hands on! And they are more than happy to oblige!

To make things worse, there are articles like Amazon's "Great Gay Gift Ideas" floating around out there giving poor, sweet straight people the wrong idea.  Amazon suggests we might like a Big Gay Al Action Figure, a Gay Pride Rainbow Flag Pewter Pendant Necklace, and a Rainbow Rhinestone Party Collar for our pets. While Cafe Press suggests gay people would like a Somebody Has to be the Queen Magnet or perhaps a I'm Not Gay But My Boyfriend Is mousepad.

So, we asked some friends, what was the worst gay themed Christmas present you ever got? Thankfully many people said they were never unfortunate enough to receive such a gift. But, quite a few had a story to share. So, here we go...

Carlton T: Somebody once gave me a book called You Know You're Gay When.... I still have it. They had stuff like you know you're gay when you have the most amazing dreams about being Bound and gagged in an Italian factory. It was full of gay clichés. The last time you saw fuzzy balls u were on a tennis court. Oh yeah and someone also gave me a book of gay quotes, lol...

Adam B: One year my sister got me a Christmas card with a tanned skin muscle man on the front painting a rainbow in the background and I believe it read "Have a Gay Christmas".... The only reason this comes to mind is that I think the stereotype of gay men is that they all love the look of a very muscular tanned man with the perfect body and perfect hair! Anyways, I think it's awkward because it's very stereotypical of the gay community.

David G (From Bear World Magazine): I was given an ironing board cover with a naked man on it! Tacky as hell - used it every day!

Henry C: My Dad once gave me a copy of The Village People's Greatest Hits.

Brian B: I was given a magnet once. It said "Sorry Girls. I'm Gay."  She was a holy roller, so her idea of gay is as a novelty. I didn't appreciate it. I gave a laugh that could be described as fake at best.

Lee G: My Mother, who felt the need to join PFLAG when I told her I was gay, once gave me a rainbow kitchen apron. I never wore it. I barely even cook.

Noel G: My mom bought me a satin jacket with a flamingo on it at a thrift store and then bedazzled it. I was so embarrassed.

Scot F: One year I  got a rainbow tea light set. It was gaudy and gross.

We would love to hear your stories!!

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-Top image by SimplyPanda used by Creative Commons License.

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