Thursday, October 31, 2013

I Am In A Relationship...Is It Ok To Masturbate?

I know first hand how contentious of an issue this can be. In one long term relationship, my partner was pretty much furious with me for daring to jerk-off to internet porn during the day while he was at work. In another relationship, if we were both tired, we would each be on our own computers furiously pumping away.

So, the big question is…is masturbation a sign that something is wrong with a marriage or serious relationship? 

Good news! The answer by the experts is a resounding NO! It is perfectly normal and even beneficial to relationships. And according to Dr. Michael Ashworth, Ph.D, research even shows that people who masturbate frequently have more (and more satisfying ) sex.

Ashworth explains, “Sometimes people feel that if everything was perfect in a sexual relationship, then neither partner would “need” to masturbate. Nothing could be further from the truth. Simply put, good sex begets more good sex — in all its forms. In fact, many couples masturbate together and find it a very enjoyable part of their relationship.”

Further, despite a popular misconception, masturbation most definitely doesn't count as cheating, explains noted sex educator Dr. Laura Berman. “If masturbation is something your partner doesn’t support or believe in, then that is something you certainly should discuss with him. Again, look for where those beliefs come from and what he finds threatening. Does he have religious beliefs that seem to conflict with masturbation, or does he feel intimidated or ashamed by the act itself? If it’s the latter, it’s important to talk to him and put his mind at ease.”

Berman also backs up the notion that masturbation improves your sex life. “I always say that sex works on a “use it or lose it” basis, and this is why masturbation can be an invaluable tool for couples. It can keep those sexual feelings going and it can keep circulation flowing to your hot spots, all of which translates into better and more frequent sex for you and your partner.”

So don’t feel guilty about taking a few moments to pleasure yourself. It’s perfectly healthy and in many cases, improves your overall sex life! Have at it!

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